Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Nether mind
INT. ALAMO MEXICAN RESTAURANT - NIGHT
The O'Riley family endulges in some delicious Mexican cuisine.
MOM
So how's Jesse doin' in Jamaica?
PATRICK
Actually she's in the Netherlands Antilles. Near Jamaica though. I guess she's having fun.
MIKEY
I thought Jamaica was a part of the Netherlands.
MOM
Jamaica's a country! That's why it has a bobsled team.
MIKEY
I just thought everything below the equator was the Netherlands.
PATRICK
But it's not below the equator.
DAD
I thought it was second star to the right and straight on til morning.
PATRICK
I think you're confusing it with something else.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Forever Yum
INT. MILITARY STORAGE WAREHOUSE - DAY
After 71 years of silence, CAPT. DANIEL MCCORMICK's cryo-stasis chamber suddenly cranks open. Capt. McCormick emerges from the resulting cloud of freezing fog, intensely hungry.
INT. CARL's JR. ACROSS THE STREET - DAY
The CASHIER gives Daniel's uniform a quick once over before asking what he'd like.
CASHIER
So what'll it be?
DANIEL
I guess a burger and fries.
CASHIER
What kinda burger? We got lots a burgers.
The cashier gestures to the menu over her head. Daniel shifts his gaze.
DANIEL
A six dollar burger?! Are you kidding me?
CASHIER
They're actually pretty good.
DANIEL
For six dollars they better be. Alright, I guess I'll have one of those.
CASHIER
That'll be 8.40.
DANIEL
What?!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Juvie Boal
INT. SCREENWRITING 101 - DAY
A portly PROFESSOR addresses a class of prospective screenwriters.
PROFESSOR
Now, a popular way to keep the audience engaged is to employ a ticking clock.
A hand goes up.
PROFESSOR
Yes, Mark.
MARK
What's so scary about a clock?
PROFESSOR
Well, it doesn't necessarily mean a clock exactly. Think of it more like a time bomb.
MARK
So if I write a movie about a time bomb, people will be in suspense, and suspense is good, right?
PROFESSOR
Well, sure, but a movie shouldn't be about things, it should be about people, and an audience can't spend an entire movie in suspense so you'll need to find places to break the tension.
MARK
So, like, a bunch of time bombs then.
PROFESSOR
Mark, the time bomb was just an example. Ordinarily you would use your creativity as a writer to come up with a more relevant and looming danger to the story's characters.
MARK
But death is dangerous.
PROFESSOR
I agree, but you don't need to be so literal with the concept. I'm trying to give you the freedom to explore...
MARK
But time bombs are still allowed, right?
PROFESSOR
Sure, Mark.
INT. 82nd ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS - NIGHT
TINA FEY and ROBERT DOWNEY JR. make standard award show chit-chat until the part people want to hear.
ROBERT
And the award goes to...
He hands the envelope to Tina.
TINA
Mark Boal for The Hurt Locker!
I see you... are wide awake now.
Friday, March 5, 2010
News Corner
Speaking of which, everyone following this blog with a genuine interest in screenwriting should sign up for this year's Script Frenzy at http://scriptfrenzy.org! Starting April 1st, all participants are expected to compose 3.333... pages every day to reach a total of 100 pages by April's end. It's a fun way to push yourself, knowing there are others in the same boat (often on the same page). If anyone is interested in buddying up with me through the site, simply search for username "patrickoriley".
27 days til the Frenzy!
Edit: ...Oh and it's free.