Hypo-Whatever by Patrick O'Riley

The following is my entry to The Kid in the Front Row's 2009 Online Screenwriting Festival.

Our Prompt:

* Your script must be no more than 5 pages long (6 including the cover page)
* The entire film is set in one place - the kitchen.
* You must use industry standard formatting.
* There are three characters: Anna, Mike and Hank.
* Anna wants something from Mike, but there's no way Mike is giving it away.

INT. KITCHEN - AFTERNOON

MIKE, 26 and barely overweight according to his WiiFit, starts working his way through a load of dirty dishes.

Just as Mike turns around, HANK, 28 and slimmer but clearly related, enters wearing a marathon bib and drenched in sweat.

Hank plops down onto a bar stool at the kitchen counter. He looks a bit under the weather.

MIKE

Hey, man! What was your time?

HANK

I think I hit the finish line at around five and a half hours.

MIKE

Wow. So you shaved like an hour off from last year.

HANK

(nonchalant)

An hour and fifteen minutes.

MIKE

Nice, man! You feeling okay? Were you gonna take a shower? I can hold off on this stuff.

Mike motions to the sink full of crusty dishes and silverware.

HANK

Anna has dibs on first shower.

MIKE

What was her time?

Hank now looks nauseous.

HANK

Actually, she beat me.

MIKE

So the world may never know.

ANNA, 28 and athletic looking, enters similarly sweaty.

ANNA

Shut up, Mike.

MIKE

You shut up.

Anna kisses Hank.

ANNA

(to HANK)

You feeling better, sweetie?

HANK

A little. Can we turn on the AC?

Mike looks confused.

MIKE

It's on full blast.

ANNA

Can you seriously not feel that?

Hank begins shaking.

HANK

I think I'm gonna pass out.

Hank leans back on the stool and Anna catches him. His eyes roll back in his head. Anna is already panicking.

ANNA

Sweetie?! Oh my god!

MIKE

Hank, what's wrong?! HANK!

ANNA

I think he's going into hypoglycemic shock! Quick find something with sugar in it!

MIKE

What are you talking about? Hank doesn't have hypo-whatever!

ANNA

No, he does! We just found out! Like a month ago.

Anna holds Hank up while Mike frantically scours the kitchen for glucose.

Mike checks the sugar dispenser, which is empty.

ANNA

What about syrup? Like maple syrup or something?

MIKE

I think we killed the syrup with yesterday's pancakes.

ANNA

Well, what else has sugar? Do you have any soda?

Mike shuffles through the fridge.

MIKE

It's all diet.

ANNA

(to HANK)

Hang in there, sweetie. We'll find somethin'.

Mike notices a half carton of eggnog. He reacts with dread. He looks back to Anna and then pushes the carton deep into the fridge, hiding it.

Hank mumbles something in Anna's ear.

ANNA

What?

HANK

(mumbling louder)

Eggnog...

ANNA

Hank, it's February. Nobody has eggnog.

HANK

(mumbling softer)

Mike does...

Anna and Mike lock eyes.

ANNA

Mike, do you have any eggnog?

HANK

(mumbling)

Mikey always has eggnog...

MIKE

(nervously)

Are you kidding? It's February.

ANNA

(losing her patience)

Do you?

Mike hangs his head in defeat.

ANNA

C'mon Mike! This isn't a game! Your brother could be going into a coma! Do you have any eggnog or don't you?

MIKE

(reluctantly)

Yes. (beat) But are you sure it'll help? I mean, this is literally the last carton of the season! I had to hit up six grocery stores for it! I drove 35 miles out of town!

Mike is tearing up.

ANNA

If you don't hand over that eggnog now, your brother may die. Give me the god damned eggnog, Mike.

Mike pours a half a glass of eggnog for his brother.

ANNA

(shouting)

FILL THE GLASS!

Mike fills the glass and brings it to Hank's lips. Hank's hands move in slowly to take the glass.

ANNA

There you go, sweetie. Drink up!

Hank starts to sit up on the stool and Anna takes a step away.

Mike watches nervously to see if his brother's condition gets any better.

Suddenly, from over Mike's shoulder, Anna speaks.

ANNA

Wow, this is pretty good.

Mike turns to see she is drinking from another glass! The last of his eggnog!

MIKE

What are you doing? Why would you drink my eggnog? They won't have it in stores again til December! (beat) And what if Hank needs a second glass? Now we don't have anymore sugar!

Suddenly, Hank is impossibly healthy and responds to Anna as if Mike isn't even there.

HANK

(to ANNA)

See? I can't believe you've never had eggnog before.

MIKE

Are you kidding me? You're not even hypo-whatever, are you?

HANK

Thanks for the nog, man. I'm gonna hit the shower.

Hank walks away. Anna follows him out.

ANNA

I had dibs!

Mike is dumbfounded.